My Health Anxiety

When did my Health Anxiety start?

I can't pin point exactly when this all started happening but I do know that everything stemmed from me having dull chest pains for a couple months. Which meant that I started to get more and more worried about what would happen to me when I start training and playing rugby again. That was Christmas time last year. So, obviously because I was stressing about it and having feelings of anxiety I was actually making my body worse and the pains got worse too.  

I think I actually have had health anxiety a lot longer without realising because I have always worried about my health since I have been in and out of hospitals since birth. When I was born, I had something called Hypospadias, which in laymen terms means I didn't have a fully formed urethra. I've never been super comfortable speaking about this until recently so even I am shocked I am typing this up right now. Everything down there is all good and healthy now. I was also born with a hole in my heart, which closed by itself and I had a collapse lung too. I am basically a miracle baby. Then later down the line I get Diabetes and Coeliac Disease. I assume something is wrong with me a lot purely because I'm used to it, Used to getting something else wrong with me. All this is definitely a big factor as to why I suffer from health anxiety. 

How do I deal with it?

At the start of the year I started to see a hypnotherapist. Honestly, he was superb and if I ever feel like I need to see him again then I will. Hypnotherapy is not for everyone for sure, but if you are struggling with anxiety and depression then giving it a go at least is a big step in the right direction. Anyways, I was with him for a couple of months and now  I have some great techniques to calm down and sort myself out when my anxiety is at its worst, because of what the hypnotherapist taught me. Now, I need to stress that you never really get rid of anxiety that would be impossible to do that but I am now in a better position when it comes to managing it when everything is at its worse stage. 

Recently, my health anxiety has been mixed. At the time of me writing this I feel great with my body and I am not worried about anything to do with my own body which is amazing. some days are hard and that is okay. It is OK to not be OK. I find myself sometimes asking my friends all sorts for their opinions because of something I have seen on myself or felt on myself at some point. I get upset sometimes if I notice something and my mind instantly goes to a brain tumor for example for when I get a headache. I found a lump about a month a go and was panicking so much, to the point where I would be crying, because my brain made me think that I actually do have something sinister on me. I got it all checked twice and guess what... I am healthy and there is nothing wrong with me. But that is just a part of the war with my own mind. I worry about not waking up, I worry I will lose a limb when I get a tingly feeling in my hands or feet, I worry I am going blind when it turns out my glasses are actually just dirty! And there is so much more I could say! 

Everyone suffering with health anxiety, their own anxiety, their depression or other mental health issues, It is important to remember not to compare with others, if someone seems like they are recovering faster than you, Do not get mad or anything. Dealing with your own mental issues is what is important, not other peoples.  Speaking out is the best thing you could ever do and get you the help and support you require on your journey to a healthier mental state. Be proud of yourself.